Getting My Just Desserts

Customer: What kind of pie do you have?
Me: Chocolate cream, banana cream, coconut cream, apple, cherry, raspberry, blueberry, strawberry rhubarb, or peach.
Customer: Oh...no pumpkin?
Me: No.
Customer: Oh..that's what I was hoping for.
Me: *sigh* Then why didn't you just ask for that in the first place?


Customer: What kind of desserts do you have?
Me: Well..for pies we have chocolate cream, banana cream, coconut cream, apple, cherry, raspberry, blueberry, strawberry rhubarb, or peach...there's also cheese cakes, strawberry short cake..blah blah blah..blah blah blah blah....so what did you decide on?
Customer: Me? Oh, nothing..I was just curious
Me: .......


Me: Can I get you folks anything else? Did you save room for dessert?
Table: Well..what do you have?
Me: Well..for pies we have blah blah blah blah ...blah blah blah....etc
Table: Um..well...I'm just too full..are you guys going to have anything??? I'll have something if you have something...no...oh...well...I guess not..
Me: So you're all set then?
Table: Yup.
Me: Are you SURE? You're good to go?
Table: Yup.
Me: Okay..I'll get your check.....................Well here it is..you folks have a good night now.
Table: Oh..we changed our mind..What did you say you had again?
Me: *sigh* *scribble scribble scribble*


Me: Did you save room for dessert?
Customer: No. What kind of pies do you have?
Me: Seriously?

Refined Tastes

Customer: What sort of exotic teas do you have?

Me: Um..exotic doesn't really work around here...We have regular, decaf, or green.

Customer: hmmmm...well..i was looking for more exotic..take for instance, we were just at the McDonald's on the turnpike and they had all sorts of exotic teas. And I figured if McDonald's had exotic teas than everyone must.

Me: Sorry..not in this town..you're quite a ways from the turnpike. Exotic has too many syllables for most of the individuals around here.

Customer: Well..they had that lovely tea..what was it? Oh..CHAM-O-MILE. It was delicious.

Me: You mean chamomile? Oh..you can get that at Wal-Mart...but not here.

Stupid Question of the Day

Customer: What the hell is plum pie!?
Me: It's pie..with plums in it.
Customer: Smart ass
Me: wah?

Grrr

Customer: What the hell did you do to your hair? How come your hair's all red?
Me: How come yours isn't?


Ask me stupid questions...receive stupid answers

Full Moon

You can always tell when the full moon is approaching...the weirdos come out of the woodwork and descend on the diner. Even regulars turn a bit wonky. I've asked to have the week off preceding this lunar phase, but my boss will have none of it :(

Special Moments 2

Me: Can I get you Folks something else to drink?
Customer: No, but can we get a couple decafs?
Me: .....Yup...


Customer: What's your specials?
Me: They're on the board..right in front of you...and on the board you glanced at when you first
came in..and on the board you passed on your way to the restroom...


Customer: What's your soups?
Me: *sigh* They're on the board..right in front of you..and on the board you glanced at when you first came in..and on the board you passed on your way to the restroom....


Customer: Can I get the deluxe burger? What does that come with?
Me: Well..it says right in the menu what it comes with...so either you're testing my knowledge or you're just living dangerously on the wild side today


Me: Hi, Folks. All set to order?
Customers: ..............
Me: Would you like some more time?
Customers: ..............................
Me: Would you like another minute???
Customers: ..........................
Me: How 'bout I give you another minute.
Customers: ...........................
Me: Swell

Special Moments

Me: Would you like regular or decaf?
Customer: Yes.


Customer: Does your bottled water come in a bottle?
Me: Yes..wait..what?


Me: Hi folks, how are you doing today?
Customer: Gimmie a Pepsi.


Customer: I'll have two eggs..any style with toast.
Me: How would you like your eggs styled?


Me: What kind of toast would you like?
Customer: Ughh normal?


Customer: I'll have a bacon cheeseburger with fries, extra mayo..cheese on my fries too..a side of cole slaw...oh..and a diet whatever to drink


Me: Hi there..can I get you anything to drink?
Customer: I'll have the soup


Me: Would you like tarter or cocktail sauce?
Customer: Which is the white?


Me: What can I get you today?
Customer: Food
Me: Yup..funny..never heard that one before


Me: What can I get you to drink?
Customer: Whiskey
Me: Yup..funny...never heard that one before...and sir..it's 7am


Customer: Can I get my eggs scrambles? You can do that right?
Me: Yup..I think we can handle it. We even do over easy...but only on holidays...



Customer: What's the difference between the turkey sandwich and the turkey dinner?
Me: One's a sandwich and one's a dinner


Customer: Are your mashed potatoes real?
Me: Nope..they're imaginary.


Customer: Can I get the vegetable omelet with onions, peppers, mushrooms and tomatoes.
Me: Sure..but sir..you don't need to read me the description..I work here..I know what's in it..that's solely for your benefit.


Customer: Is your fried chicken fried?
Me: errrrr...seriously?


Customer: Can I get fries with that?
Me: It comes with fries..it says so..right there on the menu


Customer: Um..excuse me...I ordered my burger rare..this is still bloody.
Me: Do you actually know what rare means?