Thursday, August 28, 2008

Sequal to Order Up!!

So, an old high school friend of mine just posted a bulletin requesting a list of pet peeves for research purposes and I wrote her back with a list...and I started to get agitated while writing bare with me...I feel I need to have another venting session..

What irks me? Wellllll....for starters...

Rude people: You know...everyone is entitled to a bad day, but if you can't play nice out in public and feel the need to be nasty so someone for no reason THEN STAY THE FUCK HOME!!! Noone wants to deal with your nasty ass attitude. Bad day aside...if your just a rude son-of-a-bitch to begin with then do the world a favor and just kill yourself NOW!

White trash: Hey...i grew up in a trailer down a sugar sand road in rural Florida (when there was a rural Florida). We didn't have a whole lot of money...but you know what?? SOAP IS CHEAP...and class is FREE! Put down the can of Beast...take a fucking shower, THROW AWAY the greasy wife beater, you can also stop beating your wife, turn off Jerry Springer, STOP BREEDING!!!!!!! and do something with yourself.

Bad posture: This may be one of my biggest peeves of all time. I see so many pretty girls that just look like shit all hunched over. Suck it in, flex the core, throw back the shoulders and carry yourself properly!

Obnoxious Ringtones & the people attached to them: No one wants to hear Shakira's nasty voice yodeling from your phone...and usually these are the people that talk JUST loud enough in the store to make sure everyone can hear them...I DON'T give a shit what your hubby wants for dinner!!!!

Mullets: YO!!! 1980 called and want's it's hair back..honestly I don't even think the 80's wanted them...they're an abomination along with mommy pants. Really...what are they?? Business in the front/Party in the rear????...Short or long...PICK ONE!!!!

Noisy neighbors
: This includes those who hump so loud they almost knock your pictures off the wall at 1 A.M.(punched a hole in my ceiling over that one 2 nights ago)

ANIMAL ABUSERS!!!! I'll never understand this one...if your not going to take care of an animal...or worse yet, physically abuse it...they why have one??? I just don't get it. And you dog/cock fighters...I hope you die the most slow, horrible death that the reaper can come up useless piece of shit on society.

Litter bugs: Is it that hard to just find a trash can...or leave it in your car until you get home?

Psychotic Shoppers: These are individuals who flip out on a clerk when a store is out of the Christmas ornament they want...seriously...let me get in touch with the starving kids in Africa and tell them they'll have to wait because we have a CODE RED in the Christmas isle!!!

Religious Fanatics: EVERYONE is entitled to their beliefs...but don't try to recruit me into it! And if your willing to kill someone because they don't share your belief system then you have some serious insecurity issues...sounds like a faith problem to me, buddy...take it up with your maker and leave me the fuck alone.

Scratchers: These assholes...tattooing out of their houses, hacking people up and most assuredly spreading disease...who the fuck do they think they are? I watch Pat slave away over 60 hours a week at his job. He's spent years perfecting his craft...went through a full apprenticeship while working full time, and has EARNED his right to tattoo customers. If you haven't done this the WHAT GIVES YOU THE RIGHT to think you can buy a machine (note i said MACHINE...guns are for hunting not tattooing) off Ebay and boil some needles on your stove (which does nothing by the way) and go to town on skin? Fuck you! And if you're STUPID enough to go get hacked up in someones trailer then you deserve the hepatitis or cellulitis or any of the NUMEROUS infections you are bound to receive! the tattoo industry, you really do get what you pay for.

Politicians: All politicians lie...everyone knows perhaps it's not so much the politicians that piss me off...but the fact that everyone is so complacent of this knowledge.

Know-it-alls: may be may read The New Yorker and have several degrees...or you may have none of these and still think you know everything....but trust don't. Embrace the fact that there are still things out there that you can learn...if you REALLY knew everything you're cranium would probably explode and life would suck walking around with a bloody stump for a head.

I could probably continue on but I'm hungry and want some Cheerios and I'm sure you have places to go and people to see...let's hope they're not classified in any of these categories...After breakfast I'm going to self evaluate and work on my own flaws. spelling being one of them...