Tuesday, September 15, 2009

The Placebo Effect

We have a group of individuals that dine regularly at my work. I believe their very existence is defined by a fresh cup of decaf coffee. It surpasses annoying and borders on obnoxious. If the batch is not started before their eyes then it must be conspiracy to serve them old coffee. I know decaf doesn't stay "fresh" for long but seriously...10 minutes won't kill.

(i used the term "fresh" loosely since the stuff is ground already when we get it and sits in the open air for days on end before it's even brewed..only the finest for our connoisseurs)

A few nights ago i had the opportunity to test the prowess of their palates. Upon their arrival I started the fresh *cough* batch of decaf..just shy of waving my arms in front of the machine like a Price is Right girl. Once completed I made of spectical of pulling out a rack of coffee mugs...which contained no less than 6 white decaf cups..and declaring a decimal above indoor voice, "where the heck are all the decaf cups? I'll have to go get some from the other side."*

*a brief layout of schematics: there is a wall that divides our dining room and separates the counter area from the rest...allowing for maximum cover in such a covert operation.

I brought the fresh *ahem* pot with me to the counter side of the wall...grabbed the pot of decaf there, that had sat for no less than an hour, and dumped it into their mugs. Pour new decaf into old pot...these guys are detectives...if they had seen me return with a still full pot the proverbial gig would have been up.

Return to my section of dining room...make show of placing now mostly empty pot back on burner...graciously set mugs on their table...sit back and observe.

10 minutes later:

Cups are half empty...

ME: "How's the coffee?"
THEM: "Oh excellent, Dear."
ME: "Warm up?
THEM: "Certainly!"