Vacation's Over

I was enjoying the post euphoria of my weekend's vacation to Seattle, but work managed to chip away at that rather quickly. It was completely shattered today upon checking the men's room for cleaning. There had been a bit (and by "bit" I mean a noxious stench just shy of being accompanied by fluorescent green fumes) of an odor seeping out from there all morning, but that's not too out of the ordinary...rednecks seem to think it the norm to shit in public toilets and not at least do a courtesy spray afterward.

Around the middle of my shift i went to check the restrooms to see if they needed any cleaning. Upon checking the men's room I soon discovered where the aroma had been coming from.

Someone (and they better pray I never find out who) had proceeded to take a donkey size shit in their pants. A large pile found it's way onto the floor next to the toilet...which they attempt to cleverly hide with a paper towel....

This is a transcription of what ensued..bare with me...I'm recalling it from memory and I'm slightly traumatized...

hmmm...someone dropped a paper towel on the floor...ooo...nope...it's squishy...DAMN IT!! *runs and grabs gloves* attempting to flush the pile...DAMN!! it's stuck...*fishes most of the paper towel out of the toilet* SONOFABITCH!! okay..toilet's flushing now..whew...cleaning spray..I NEED CLEANING SPRAY!!! *opens cupboard under sink..wait..what's that?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?!?!?!?

Our individual, instead of just throwing Them in the trash, has taken it upon themselves to shove their shit laden tightie whities under the sink..in the process smearing shit all over into the wood. When i say DONKEY LOAD I am not kidding...jesus how can one bowl hold so much shit?!?!?

*grabs pure bleach spray and hoses down everything* scrub scrub scrub

MOTHER FUCKER!!!!

I am Jack's raging bile duct.....