End of a Rotten Day

Dear Desperate Housewives: Thanks so much for bringing your 4 brats to my work and letting them scream, yell and generally run a bloody muck while you sat at a separate table. You deserve the bitch slap of all bitch slaps which I will gladly deliver if I see you outside my establishment. I'm so happy you both decided to breed.

Getting My Just Desserts

Customer: What kind of pie do you have?
Me: Chocolate cream, banana cream, coconut cream, apple, cherry, raspberry, blueberry, strawberry rhubarb, or peach.
Customer: Oh...no pumpkin?
Me: No.
Customer: Oh..that's what I was hoping for.
Me: *sigh* Then why didn't you just ask for that in the first place?


Customer: What kind of desserts do you have?
Me: Well..for pies we have chocolate cream, banana cream, coconut cream, apple, cherry, raspberry, blueberry, strawberry rhubarb, or peach...there's also cheese cakes, strawberry short cake..blah blah blah..blah blah blah blah....so what did you decide on?
Customer: Me? Oh, nothing..I was just curious
Me: .......


Me: Can I get you folks anything else? Did you save room for dessert?
Table: Well..what do you have?
Me: Well..for pies we have blah blah blah blah ...blah blah blah....etc
Table: Um..well...I'm just too full..are you guys going to have anything??? I'll have something if you have something...no...oh...well...I guess not..
Me: So you're all set then?
Table: Yup.
Me: Are you SURE? You're good to go?
Table: Yup.
Me: Okay..I'll get your check.....................Well here it is..you folks have a good night now.
Table: Oh..we changed our mind..What did you say you had again?
Me: *sigh* *scribble scribble scribble*


Me: Did you save room for dessert?
Customer: No. What kind of pies do you have?
Me: Seriously?

Refined Tastes

Customer: What sort of exotic teas do you have?

Me: Um..exotic doesn't really work around here...We have regular, decaf, or green.

Customer: hmmmm...well..i was looking for more exotic..take for instance, we were just at the McDonald's on the turnpike and they had all sorts of exotic teas. And I figured if McDonald's had exotic teas than everyone must.

Me: Sorry..not in this town..you're quite a ways from the turnpike. Exotic has too many syllables for most of the individuals around here.

Customer: Well..they had that lovely tea..what was it? Oh..CHAM-O-MILE. It was delicious.

Me: You mean chamomile? Oh..you can get that at Wal-Mart...but not here.

Stupid Question of the Day

Customer: What the hell is plum pie!?
Me: It's pie..with plums in it.
Customer: Smart ass
Me: wah?

Grrr

Customer: What the hell did you do to your hair? How come your hair's all red?
Me: How come yours isn't?


Ask me stupid questions...receive stupid answers

Full Moon

You can always tell when the full moon is approaching...the weirdos come out of the woodwork and descend on the diner. Even regulars turn a bit wonky. I've asked to have the week off preceding this lunar phase, but my boss will have none of it :(

Special Moments 2

Me: Can I get you Folks something else to drink?
Customer: No, but can we get a couple decafs?
Me: .....Yup...


Customer: What's your specials?
Me: They're on the board..right in front of you...and on the board you glanced at when you first
came in..and on the board you passed on your way to the restroom...


Customer: What's your soups?
Me: *sigh* They're on the board..right in front of you..and on the board you glanced at when you first came in..and on the board you passed on your way to the restroom....


Customer: Can I get the deluxe burger? What does that come with?
Me: Well..it says right in the menu what it comes with...so either you're testing my knowledge or you're just living dangerously on the wild side today


Me: Hi, Folks. All set to order?
Customers: ..............
Me: Would you like some more time?
Customers: ..............................
Me: Would you like another minute???
Customers: ..........................
Me: How 'bout I give you another minute.
Customers: ...........................
Me: Swell